Sue Brooks' Blog

Sue Brooks August 26th, 2009

60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)    
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all.  Here are just a few reasons why:  
A woman over 40 will  never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you  thinking?’  She doesn’t care what you think.  If a woman over  40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around  whining about it.   She does something she wants to do,  and it’s usually more interesting.    Women over 40 are  dignified.  They  seldom have a screaming match with you  at the opera or in the middle of an expensive  restaurant.  Of  course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot  you if  they think they can get away with it.   Older women are  generous with praise,  often undeserved.   They know what  it’s like to be unappreciated. Women get  psychic as they age.   You never have to confess your sins to a woman over  40.  Once you get past a  wrinkle or two, a woman over 40  is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright  and honest.  They’ll tell you right off you are a jerk if  you are acting like one.   You don’t ever have to wonder  where you stand with her..  Yes, we praise women over 40 for a  multitude of reasons.  Unfortunately, it’s not  reciprocal.  For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot  woman over 40, there is a  bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants  making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.  Ladies, I   apologize.  

For all those men who say, ‘Why buy the  cow when you can get the milk for free?’, here’s an update for you.    Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.  Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig  just to get a little sausage!    

                               Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!

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Sue Brooks March 7th, 2009

When life seems to be a constant stream of bad news sometimes someone sends me something that is uplifting. Yes this might be an advert but the effect it had on the people there and for us that get to see it I think is a reminder that we all need to spend more time appreciating and enjoying our lives.

Apparently …….  Liverpool Street Station (London) was an energized place to be at recently while T-Mobile filmed a new advertisement during rush hour! It took 8 weeks of planning, 8 sound tracks of 60s to 90s music, 10,000 who auditioned, 400 chosen, 10 hidden cameras, and a terminal full of unsuspecting commuters…some of whom obviously missed their trains!

Here is the link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exkfGhz-YsU

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Sue Brooks October 29th, 2008

THE SENILITY PRAYER  

God grant me the senility to forget  the  people  I  never liked anyway, 
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, 
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

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Sue Brooks September 18th, 2008

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You’ll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.  

GENERAL COSGROVE: Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?

The radio went silent.

Three Men on a Hike

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river.

Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed:

‘God, please give me the strength to cross the river.’

Poof! .. God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed:

‘God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river’

Poof! .. God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed:

‘God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river’

Poof! .. He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

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admin May 19th, 2008

CHECK FOR ALZHEIMERS

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University .

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down…

I betcha’ you cannot resist passing it on.

Tags: comedy

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